Every family needs to agree on the arrangement after the separation of parents differently. Therefore, it is always a good idea to discuss the future openly and with respect for the needs of each family member.
It is important to remember that if the parents are not clear about what will happen after the separation, they often pass on uncertainty or fear to their children (even unknowingly).
Children need to see their parents happy and strong, look up to them, feel safe with them, and be able to be children. Children can cope with parents‵ breakup if their parents can cope if they focus on the future together.
After a breakup, parents often address these issues:
- Adequate involvement of both parents in the personal care of the child.
- the place, time, and manner of transfer of the children between the parents if the parents are separated
- passing on favorite toys or equipment for clubs (e.g., sports equipment)
- payment of extraordinary expenses - clubs, trips, necessary equipment
- the amount of child maintenance
- how to make decisions on important matters concerning the child (school, medical interventions, etc.)
- the child's place of residence
- methods of communication at a distance - time of calls or video calls
Parents can resolve major childcare issues on their own without the intervention of the court or other institutions after out-of-court agreements or in the framework of a parenting plan. A sample parenting plan for international families can be found here.
